Slips Away
by KayMarieXW
Summary: What might have happened if Jacob was a bit further away when Bella dived off the cliff? How much difference could a few miles or minutes really make? AU.
1. Fear and Dread

**Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight. I'm not sure she'd approve of my manipulation of her characters in this story, but I simply find them irresistible.**

**Warning!** This story is heavy on angst, contains bullying and some descriptive physical violence, very quickly becomes very AU and also contains non-canon pairing sexual content. On top of that, there is no Edward in it at all.

Each section will start in Bella's POV and end in Jasper's. These will be the only two POVs in the story.

This was my entry in the New Moon round of The Canon Tour. At the moment it consists of six chapters. Thank you to everyone who wrote, read and reviewed in the contest. As always, all of the entries were of a very high standard and I highly recommend reading them.

Thank you to my sister and to TheaJ1, who beta'd this story for me. They are both a source of great support and inspiration. Not sure I would've been brave enough to enter this story without them.

The title and the chapter titles are taken from the lyrics of Can't Repeat by The Offspring.

Hope you enjoy...

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><p><strong>Slips Away<strong>

**1: Fear and Dread**

**Bella**

As I crashed through the churning surface of the grey water and drove into the silence of the darkening pressure, I felt elated. Adrenaline burned through my veins, giving me a much needed rush of life and purpose. I had heard his voice and even seen concern etched on the face of my self-induced hallucination. And I had survived. But when my lungs began to protest the deprivation of air and there was still no inkling of daylight, a fresh shot of a contrastingly ice cold adrenaline surged though me. I swam with every ounce of energy I possessed and even managed to summon up a little more, but the current was unrelenting and imprisoned me entirely. Panic consumed me and my urge to survive grew, even as my energy was sapped away.

Absolute relief flooded me when I felt myself being pulled into the reassuring and powerful grip of an arm towing me though the water. I was so grateful that Jake had not been as far away as I had feared. I knew it had to be him, or possibly another member of the pack because it would require supernatural strength to overcome the power of the water.

I could see the daylight above me and the promise of oxygen was irresistible to my screaming lungs. In anticipation, I drew in a deep breath a fraction too soon, choking as the salty water filled my mouth and airway. I grabbed hold of my rescuer's arm, for support, to convey my gratitude and also to try and loosen their hold a little, as the force of their grip on me was becoming more and more crushing. Panic and dread swelled up in me again. The arm was too cold. Jake's pack all ran hot, no matter what environment they were in and the arm around me should feel scorching to my hypothermic body.

For a brief second, I felt a beacon of hope that maybe one of the Cullens was here to help me. Maybe Alice had seen my ill-advised leap off a cliff and the resultant peril I was in. I tried to turn my head, but my vision was impaired by the water smacking against my face and I couldn't see much at all, until a frond of blazing red hair whipped against my face. I panicked instantly at the implication of that and fought against her with everything I had. I felt a several ribs crack as she tightened her grip around me further still.

Though my vision was blurred and my eyes stung, I could see the cliffs diminish in size as we sped away from them. I found that I had to change my focus from fighting Victoria to simply staying alive. She was making no effort to ensure my mouth stayed above the surface and my lungs were taking on as much sea water as they were air. I had no concept of how long we were in the water for. All I could focus on was timing each excruciating breath in with when my face was not submerged.

When Victoria eventually headed back inland, I was completely exhausted and the pain from my chest was almost unbearable, every breath was agony. As soon as we were onshore, she rounded on me.

"Get up," she commanded shrilly, pulling me up by hair when I didn't instantly comply. I tried to take my weight through my legs, but it was impossible. I had no strength in them at all, and collapsed back onto the sand, the clump of my hair in Victoria's fist was painfully ripped from my scalp.

"Move…now!" Victoria snarled, but I made no effort to comply. I knew from my close encounter with Laurent that her plans for me were already horrific. I highly doubted there was anything I could do to escape my fate at this point. The pack would be unable to track me through the water and I was sure Victoria was aware of their capabilities and wouldn't have brought me anywhere they were likely to find me. As this realization blossomed in my mind, I internally berated myself for not succumbing to my prolonged near drowning. My determination to survive seemed ludicrous to me now.

Without asking me again, Victoria grabbed me by my ankle and it snapped under the pressure of her fingers. I think it would have hurt more if the pain from my chest and my lungs were not so searing. She yanked hard, dragging me across the short stretch of beach and into the nearby woodland. The ground was bumpy now and every jolt sent a fresh wave of pain from both my ankle and my ribs. The jostling of my head was disorienting and I could taste vomit in my mouth. I was both unable and unwilling to cling to consciousness at this point and I wondered if I would ever wake again. My last thought was that it would probably be better if I didn't.

xXx

**Jasper**

I was seated comfortably on the luxurious sofa in our most recent home with Alice resting in my arms. I relaxed into the first episode of emotional peace that I had been able to find since we left Forks. I had been battling against the barrage of the emotional torment of myself and the family for such a long time. I had almost reveled in it, knowing that my actions had been the cause and so I deserved to burden the load.

Today I was home alone with Alice. I knew that she was intentionally giving her full attention to happy memories, trying to give me a respite from the negativity. I was completely focused on her when a violent burst of fear and dread erupted, blasting me with the full impact of it as well. I leapt up, ready to defend her with my life, even though I instinctively knew there was no threat here in the room.

Alice's eyes were wide and unseeing and her expression was horror-struck. Although I tried to buffer her emotional torrent, I couldn't seem to alleviate her suffering.

"What do you need me to do, Alice?" I demanded, knowing that often simply making a decision to act could shift the path of a vision and improve the potential outcomes.

"We're too late…" her whisper was barely audible, "it's happening now."

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	2. Tears Down

**Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight. **

Thank you to everyone for reading and for coming back for more! I especially appreciate the reviews. I hope you enjoy this next chapter too.

Massive thank yous to TheaJ1 and my sister, who not only beta my stories, but more importantly put up with me in general!

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><p><strong>Slips Away<strong>

**2: Tears Down**

**Bella**

But I did wake, still exhausted and still in so much pain. As I groggily recalled my most recent memories, I began to wish I hadn't. I tried to will myself back into unconsciousness, but when I couldn't, I reluctantly cracked my eyes open. It made no difference. I was in pitch blackness and I could almost feel my other senses rallying to compensate. The air was bitter, stale and musty and I guessed I was underground. Maybe a basement? I was lying on my back, on something stony and hard, shivering uncontrollably. I was still in my wet clothes, which now felt freezing. The cold had penetrated to my core and numbness had set in, so that I could barely feel my hands or feet. At least the pain in my ankle was dulled as well, if only the same could be said for my ribs. I tried to move, but my arms and legs were useless dead weights and pain gripped my chest like a vice.

"Shit!" I hissed, but froze as a hollow chuckle echoed around me. The sizzle of a match sounded and the initial spark of light brightened as Victoria lit a rudimentary torch in the corner of the room. The flickering of the flame set eerie shadows dancing over every surface. The deep orange light licked at a variety of tools hanging on the walls. Blunt shovels, sharp cleavers, actual pitch forks. I let out a low groan.

"I wouldn't want you to miss anything," Victoria smiled sweetly at me, but the piercing menace in her eyes made her innocent expression fearsome. "So Bella," she continued in a slow drawl. "You are providing me with quite the dilemma." Her eyes held mine, watching my reactions vigilantly. She came in close beside me and took my hand gently, stroking it carefully. To my frozen skin, her hand no longer felt cold at all. I tensed waiting for her next move. I vowed to try and stay strong and silent, not to give her the satisfaction of hearing my fear or pain.

"I have invested a great deal of time and effort into getting to you," she told me with simmering fury. "I had big plans. The only thing that has kept me going since I lost James is imagining all the tantalizing ways I can torture you to death." She gave my hand a sudden pulverizing squeeze and I heard a flurry of pops, as several of the bones in my hand were crushed. It actually wasn't as painful as I had feared because my coldness was acting as an anesthetic. I bit the inside of my lip and held on to all my emotion, balling it up and bolting it down, detaching myself as best I could. This would only be the beginning and I needed to be prepared.

At least my family was safe now. I clung onto this idea. I had known that Victoria was coming for me. I had tried to prepare myself but I had spent so many of the recent days dreading that Charlie would be killed as well. Here, in isolation, I was so relieved that I was the only one suffering. Once this is over, then it's over.

Victoria narrowed her eyes at my lack of reaction, then tilted her head. "But then I have to drag you out of the water, after watching you try and kill yourself." A harder squeeze and this time the bones crunched. I held her gaze still, digging for every reserve of strength to get through this.

"You're taking the fun out of this, Bella," Victoria pouted. There was something about her that was almost childlike. Like Chucky! The big red hair, the dead, glass-like eyes that impossibly managed to shine with fury, the corruption of a face that when still seemed so innocent, but when contorted and animated, curled into an ugly sneer. Exactly like Chucky. The Child's Play comparison hit me from nowhere, but it fit so perfectly that I actually gave a strangled giggle. Victoria looked furious for a second, before composing herself, although there was a new tight edge to her tone when she spoke again.

"I've been keeping tabs on you Bella, even before the Cullens left Forks and despite the best efforts of your wolves to keep us apart. I know how much you've been suffering alone. Edward left you because he chose to leave you. James had no such choice, he was stolen from me, because of you! Edward kills my James to protect you, a pathetic human and then what does he do? He rips your heart out himself! I am so angry that James was destroyed over you when none of them obviously care one way or another what becomes of you!

"What is it about you, Isabella Swan? That James risked his life to get to you, even after I warned him! I have a gift that he had always respected before! It is all your fault that he left me all alone!" She was rambling now, almost incoherent and contradicting herself at each turn. I drifted into unconsciousness again, to the sound of her ranted descent further into madness.

I startled awake, opening my eyes to find Victoria's gaze boring into me once more, her face only inches from mine. She had gathered herself together again.

"So weak, so fragile, so pathetic," she sang to me. "I've come to realize that whatever I do to you will never be enough. When I eventually kill you, I will be putting you out of your misery, giving you exactly what you want…and that is simply unacceptable." She leaned in close to my face. "But there is one way that I can kill you that will make your pain and loneliness permanent…just like mine." She swooped down and gently kissed my neck. Despite my best efforts to stay detached, the threat was too much to bear. A tear slid from my eye and froze on my cheek. "After that, you'll be able to jump off as many cliffs as you like, but the pain will never end."

Then, in a movement too fast for my eyes to follow, she was gone and the light extinguished. I was in darkness again.

xXx

**Jasper**

We had set up a base at the house in Forks. All of the family had responded to Alice's frantic call to arms, except for Edward, who was predictably not answering his phone. There was no time to go in search of him. We had to stay focused on looking for Bella.

I had immediately taken charge, feeling calmest in that role and had no dissension among the family. Even Carlisle who was used to leading and Rosalie who usually balked at taking orders were resolved to follow my directions. I had turned the 'dining' room into a command post. Large maps of the whole of the coast line for hundreds of miles were spread out in front of me. Esme was the last to the strategy meeting, but the first to speak.

"Bella spent most of her time on the Reservation recently. They think that's where she disappeared from and it's where all of the search parties are operating," she reported, her words rushed and her demeanor harried.

"That would explain why I couldn't recognize the area in my vision," Alice stated, relieved that at least one of our questions had been answered.

"It'll be hard to navigate that area without raising suspicion for our sudden reappearance. While we could deal with that in the long term, the humans will slow us down," Emmett added. He was right. I could tell the majority of the family were more concerned for Bella's safety than the risk of exposure or the boundaries set by a defunct treaty, but both issues were interdependent on each other.

"We start at the boundary line and work outwards." I interjected decisively. "Alice thinks they were in the water a long time. It makes sense that she got as far away as possible. She doesn't want to have to worry about humans forcing her to rush. She's further way than they are looking, I am sure of it." I looked at the map another moment.

The family accepted my lead and my orders without hesitation. We were all grimly determined. We had to find Bella and we had to find her very soon. She did not deserve any of this. No one on this earth could ever deserve the kind of punishment Victoria was putting Bella though. Alice was living through it too, in a way. Again and again as she had trawled her visions for any clue that might help us find Bella, watching the girl she loved before anyone else did, suffer.

I intended to make sure Victoria was made to pay for everything that Bella and Alice had had to endure.

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><p>Thanks for reading.<p>

If you review, I promise not to find you for a huge hug, despite the fact that it will be very tempting for me!

Next chapter will go up tomorrow or Saturday.


	3. Changed

**Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight.**

Thank you to everyone for reading! I love the reviews I have so far; I'm so glad you like it. I got some especially lovely reviews which I couldn't reply to as PMs were disabled, so just a quick hello here and a reassurance that there is more to this story and it will go on beyond chapter six. Thank you for wanting more!

My sister & TheaJ1 are both amazing. As well as being wonderful people, they also beta my stories.

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><p><strong>Slips Away<strong>

**3: Changed**

**Bella**

"Bella…Bella," a concerned, male voice called.

This time when I opened my eyes, the room was lit by a dim, dusty caged bulb on the wall and a middle aged man with short, dark hair and kind brown eyes was standing over me. "Hey, welcome back," he greeted me in a gruff voice, reminding me a lot of Charlie.

I was disorientated and looked around in confusion. I was still in the same dank room and still in so much pain, especially when breathing. But there were three men here now, all of them looking at me with concern.

"Don't worry, kid," the first man told me, "your friend flagged us down and told us you were hurt and holed up down here. We're going to get you warm and to a hospital as soon as we can. With some considerable effort, I lifted my head and looked past them all. Victoria was leaning against the back wall, her arms folded casually and a wide menacing grin on her face.

"Please…don't" I croaked at her, giving up my resolve to suffer in silence, and willing to plead for the lives of these men, even though I had tried not to lose my dignity by pleading for my own.

"Relax, Sweetie, no need to move yet, we'll help you when the time comes. John…" he turned to the other men, "go and get some blankets from the truck. I want to wrap her up as best we can before we move her."

The man closest to the door, turned and hurried out the room, all of them unaware that Victoria slipped out behind him.

"No…" I protested, reaching out as if I could prevent this horror unfolding. But the pain this movement caused was unbearable and I couldn't help but cry out.

"Everything's going to be fine, we have you now, Honey," I was hushed again. The reassurance was so kind and genuine that for a moment I could almost believe it. Then Victoria silently re-emerged though the door, grinning at me widely, ensuring that I got an eye full of her blood stained teeth. I sank back in despair. Knowing that even if I was able to warn them and by some miracle they actually believed me when I told them that Victoria was a vampire, it would make no difference at all.

Tears rolled down my cheeks now, and I wanted to look away from the sight of Victoria stealthily coming up behind the second man, putting one hand firmly over his mouth as she sank her teeth into his neck, but it seemed bizarrely disrespectful not to share his final moment. The first man finally seemed to sense some of the misery going on behind him and slowly looked around, leaping up in slow motion when he saw his dead friend slump to the ground.

"What the fu…" but Victoria was on top of him before he could even finish the expletive. His death seemed more drawn out, almost as if Victoria was unable swallow anymore. She broke away early, before he was completely drained, and a spurt of arterial blood doused my face, scolding my icy skin with its heat. Under any normal circumstance, I would have fainted at the smell, but today I wasn't afforded that reprieve. Victoria gave his head a sharp twist and his spine snapped loudly. I felt so wretched and helpless. Three men dead in less than a minute.

"What did they ever do to you?" I asked rhetorically.

"I'll be sure to ask you the same thing, when I check in on you after your change," she shot back, returning her full attention to me. "Of course, they did nothing. Just in the right place at the right time. You see, I need to be sated. Turns out it's harder to turn someone than you might think. I've had reason to try a few times recently and it's very difficult to stop drinking once you start. Precautions must be taken, if you intend to ensure success." She lifted my wrist to her face and creepily ran her tongue along the scar left my James' bite, before sinking her own teeth in alongside it.

Even through my cold numbness, I felt the slice of them. I closed my eyes, but could still hear her long, slow gulps. I felt so helpless still. I had no control over what happened to me and hoped that she would have no control either; that this would be over here and now. Finished forever.

But then her lips were off my wrist and at my ear and my last vestige of hope slipped away.

"A little bit of venom injected at the wrist is going to make for a tortuously slow change, I'm afraid, but don't worry, I'll be here to keep you company the entire time."

And she kept her macabre promise.

As the venom agonizingly crept along my veins, Victoria kept up a running commentary of mental torture as well. She told me repeatedly of how Edward and the Cullens had deserted me. How she had no idea why they had even protected me in the first place. That they could've saved me if they had wanted to, but clearly had other concerns. She told me that she intended to do everything in her power to ensure I was always alone. That she would kill anyone I tried to get close to. That I was ridiculous, that I was ugly, that I was pitiful, that I was nothing.

I bided my time. I refused to allow a single sound to issue from my lips or a solitary movement to acknowledge how much pain I was in. I even tried not to hear the constant rain of misery Victoria was spewing into my ear, although that was what proved the most difficult. Instead, I tried to focus on what I would do once my change was complete. I envisioned a fight to the death…mine or hers, I really didn't care at this point. I wondered if, on waking, I would have the skill and strength to rip off her head quickly enough that she would never see me coming.

I could sense the end was nearing, the pain was beginning to centralize and impossibly it had intensified as well. My heartbeat was frantic, resisting the inevitable until the end. Then it did end. My pain and my heartbeat were both gone in the same instant. I leapt up, in one fluid motion, ready to pounce on my tormenter.

The explosion was incomprehensible to my newly acute senses. The roar of noise was so loud, that it brought me to my knees, hands clasped desperately over my ears and the flash made it seem as if I had been somehow transported to the center of the sun. Then the building came down around me, trapping me under stone, brick, wood and glass, burying me completely in rubble.

xXx

**Jasper**

We knew the explosion was coming…and hoped we were in the right vicinity. We had failed Bella, completely and that failure gnawed at me. I had hoped that it would be relatively easy to locate Victoria's scent along the coastline and then follow it to where Bella was being held, but that had not been the case. Victoria's scent was all over the surrounding area and it had become clear very quickly that Victoria had been active near Forks for some considerable time. Even more disturbingly, it became evident that she had deliberately left false trails of her and Bella's scents mingled together. She had anticipated our attempts to locate them and she also seemed to have sufficient knowledge of Alice's gift to circumvent it.

Our only conclusion was that this had not been a spur of the moment abduction, it had been well planned and Alice was beside herself that she had seen nothing of it until a few days ago. Victoria was cunning and manipulative and I was furious that she had been able to keep ahead of us. The place she held Bella was too well concealed and we had been unable to locate her in time to shorten her suffering. We could only hope to reach her as soon as we could now and to support her though her transition, so that she didn't have to be alone. I fervently hoped that she wouldn't reject us, as I knew that would break Alice's heart.

The explosion sounded like a pebble landing on a soft pillow. I huffed in frustration. Considering the size it must've been, that meant it was a very long way away. We scanned the distance, and saw it simultaneously. A thin plume of smoke, so far away it was barely visible. We took off towards it…running at full speed.

**xXx**

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	4. Time Rolls On

**Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight.**

Thank you to everyone for reading and especially to those of you reviewing!

Much love to my sister & TheaJ1. They beta my stories, but they mean so much more than that to me as well. Love you ladies!

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><p><strong>Slips Away<strong>

**4: Time Rolls On**

**Bella**

It took only seconds to dig my way out of the rubble, but that was all the time Victoria had needed to escape. I was about to take off after her, prepared to focus on finding her and finishing this…whatever the consequences, but a sound in the distance froze me where I stood.

Children's laughter.

My throat was blazing. The scent of the dried human blood on my clothes, both mine and the men's who did died in the room with me, was fuelling my burning thirst. I could hear the thrumming heartbeats of several children, and they seemed to pulse in me somehow. The monster that I had become was clearly evident to me.

I held my breath and ran towards the only other sound I could distinguish in that moment; the crashing of waves. I ran into the ocean and then swam as far and as fast as I could. Away from the sounds and scent, away from temptation and also to wash the blood from my clothes.

When I finally stopped swimming, I could not see land in any direction and my throat burned more and more fiercely. I would have to do something to quench it soon. I let the current carry me a while, as I wondered how to deal with my continuing thirst. There was no way I could be around humans. But I knew another way. The Cullens' example could guide me, even if they were not here to set it.

For some reason I felt safe in the water. It was like a blanket protecting me somehow, from what I had become and from unexpected surprises. Despite my resolve to hate Victoria and not fear her, I knew that a part of me would always be terrified of her. Just the thought of her brought a world of devastating memories crushing in on me. In the water I left no scent or trail. I felt less exposed here than I did on land. It didn't remind me of anything or anyone. It was unfamiliar and peaceful.

o

It took time to perfect my hunting technique. I would wait as long as I could, pushing my limits of self-control and relishing my burning throat as a sign of my success. When I finally could stand it no longer, I would swim until I could see land, waiting until I found desolate coast line with no sign of human habitation, before swimming any closer to shore. Then I would lay in wait, with just my eyes and ears above water, waiting for suitable prey. Not even allowing myself to use scent, not trusting my self-control. I felt like an alligator biding my time, awaiting an unsuspecting meal. I found the analogy a little amusing.

o

I had no idea how much time passed. Days bled into nights in a cycle that I made no effort to keep track of. My future yawned out in front of me; bleak and empty. I could not even consider contacting my family, for fear I would hurt Renee or Charlie. And as for my friends, I was an enemy to them now, even though I'd never intentionally do anything to hurt a single one of them. Jake was lost to me forever. My safety line had been severed and I was completely adrift.

I thought about the Cullens at times, but the hurt was still raw. Their abandonment of me still stung. Of course I couldn't trust anything Victoria had said, but although her venom was long gone, replaced with my own, the poison of her words as I changed continued to burn me. Was it possible that they had known that Victoria was coming for me, but left me defenseless anyway? I didn't want to believe it. But I had been naive about such things before and that had left me broken in the woods with a gaping emotional bullet hole in my chest. Even if I had wanted to find them, I would not know where to start. They had left no way to contact them or inkling of even the area they were relocating to. More evidence that they had left me behind without looking back.

One thing was certain; Edward had never loved me. It was so clear to me now that I was a vampire. If he had felt about me, the way that I had felt about him, no matter the provocation he would have been unable to tear himself away. It was actually beginning to piss me off that I was still hollow because of him. Wasn't I supposed to forget these things as I changed? I cursed Victoria for making sure that I didn't...and for so much more than that.

Even once I had gained control over my thirst, I could still never go home. Not while Victoria existed. My thirst and inexperience were weaknesses she could use against me, but once I had overcome them, I intended to find her and end the game that she had started. But this time I would be the hunter and she the hunted. I still couldn't bring myself to care who would win, so long as it was over.

**xXx**

**Jasper**

"Damn it!" Alice exclaimed, actually managing to startle me as she had been still and silent for so long.

"You need to stop putting this pressure on yourself, Alice," I told her, pulling her close to me. "You cannot force a vision, when there is nothing to see." We had been over this many, many times. Bella wasn't making any decisions at all. She was drifting, without direction. Alice could hardly see her at all. The brief glimpses she did get showed Bella in generic water or wilderness, with no way at all for us to identify where she might be.

"Nothing more I can do now…but everything I should have done then," Alice whispered in despair.

"As much as you want and try to, you cannot live other people's lives for them. They will make their own decisions and choices. All you can do is make sure they have the information they need and let them make an informed decision," I tried to reassure her.

"I don't think I will ever be able to forgive him for what she's been through," she told me, her voice hollow.

"He will never forgive himself. Once he realizes the truth of what has happened, I fear for him Alice. Even he will not be strong or stoic enough."

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><p>Thanks for reading. I would love it if you have a chance to let me know what you think!<p> 


	5. Hold On

**Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight.**

Thank you all for continuing to read this story. I'm so happy you like it enough to keep coming back.

My sister & TheaJ1 beta my stories; I really appreciate their time and input.

I'm a little nervous about this chapter. Really hope you'll like it!

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><p><strong>5: Hold On<strong>

**Bella**

Red hot, salty liquid was pumping into my mouth and I groaned in relief as I swallowed and the scorch in my throat diminished further. As I cast my third deer aside, I sensed a presence. I froze in place, chills creeping down my back. Someone was here.

I wheeled around, instinctively dropping into a defensive crouch and growling a warning. It took me only a fraction of a second to locate the intruder. He was tall, with longish sandy hair and bright red eyes. He appeared to have been watching me curiously for a while and showed no signs of remorse or aggression now that I had noticed him.

"My apologies," he said, politely, "for interrupting you. I was curious, that is all."

As he took a step towards me, my reaction was almost involuntary. I growled a second warning, every muscle in my body tensing, preparing to defend myself. He paused at this and continued to eye me speculatively, before dropping onto one knee and lowering his gaze to the ground. I instantly felt more at ease, and realized his submissive gesture had been entirely for my benefit, to assure me that he was not dangerous.

I remained cautious, but straightened up and waited to see what he would do next.

"I promise I mean you no harm at all," he said. "Will you permit me to introduce myself?" Although his head remained bowed, he lifted his eyes to meet mine. I gave a small nod and he slowly got back to his feet and started coming towards me again. I took an involuntary step back, before finding my resolve to stand my ground.

"My name is Garrett," he said. "I was just passing through and I have to admit, I was intrigued by your choice of meal."

"I'm Bella," was all I could manage. I'd expected my voice to be croaky from disuse as I had not spoken a single word since my change, but instead it chimed almost musically, taking me by surprise.

"I'm pleased to meet you, Bella," he said with an easy smile. He paused again, his eyes surveying me up and down and lingering on my face and eyes, as if trying to make up his mind about something.

"How long changed are you, Bella?" he asked, with a hint of exasperation that he hadn't been able to figure it out himself.

I shrugged. I genuinely had no idea.

"What's the last date you remember as a human?" he pressed.

I had to think about it. I remembered it being spring break when I had taken my dive off a cliff, but the exact date eluded me.

"March?" I asked, more than answered. "The middle I think, maybe the fifteenth or the sixteenth?"

"Which year?" Garrett pressed.

"This year," that answer came easily at least, although Garrett gaped at me. I had finally managed to shake his composure.

"This year?" he echoed in disbelief. "2006?"

I nodded my conformation.

"But that makes you barely a month turned?"

I shook my head. A month? It had felt like an eternity. I would have sworn that lifetimes had passed. Could it really have only been a month? That was monumentally depressing. How long would a year feel? Or a decade? Or a century? It was horrifying to consider spending eternity, living the way I was.

"Are you on your own?" Garrett seemed more alert now, looking for evidence of who I was hunting with. I felt uncomfortable with such a loaded question. As well as not wanting to admit that I so vulnerable, I also hated acknowledging even to myself that I was completely alone. I guess that, despite my best efforts to project a calm, confident image, some of the grief must have seeped into my expression. Garrett's sympathy was evident and it riled me.

"The vampire that turned you, left you to fend for yourself?" he asked sharply, his tone radiating disapproval.

"I'm managing just fine!" I retorted indignantly.

"I didn't mean to imply that you weren't," Garrett said more carefully, "but it is inexcusable for a vampire to change a human, and then neglect to guide them. It is a difficult transition, even when you are supported."

I grimaced in dismay. Of all the inexcusable things that Victoria had done to me, not sticking around to 'support' me was the kindest. The idea of her helping me was as repulsive as it was unlikely. I was distracted into my own thoughts and rudely ignoring Garrett, who was watching my every reaction.

"If you would like, I could offer you somewhere to get cleaned up," he suggested cautiously. I knew how much of a state I was in. I had been wearing the same clothes since I was human, and they had been in and out of the water so many times, it was a miracle they had not fallen apart completely. The idea of breaking out of this cycle I had trapped myself in was both appealing and terrifying at the same time.

"I promise I have no ulterior motive," Garrett said, as if he could sense my anxiousness and indecision.

"I can't…" I hesitated, "I can't be anywhere around humans."

"Have you ever tasted human blood?" he questioned, seeming a little confounded by my attitude.

I shook my head.

"You do know how amazing that is?" Garrett said sincerely. "Such self-control is almost unheard of. Most new vampires would be insane with thirst by now. Uncontrollable and incoherent. Yet here you stand…rational and headstrong." He paused in thought once more. "But if you are truly concerned about that then you needn't worry; the place I'm staying is very isolated."

o

I think it was sheer loneliness that compelled me to go with him. That, and his open, honest, easy manner. We ran together in silence and it felt so good to be running towards something, rather than running away. We weaved our way further inland, away from the sea and up into the mountains. The forest was becoming denser and I wondered where we were actually headed and if my instinct to trust Garrett had been way off.

The house seemed to spring out of nowhere. I had no idea where I expected to end up, but this would have been my very last guess. It was a large house settled seamlessly into the wilderness, but exuding luxury. Garrett let us in the front door and into a huge reception area and then though into a large open plan living area. There was the very faint scent of human inhabitants, but it was almost completely masked by Garrett's scent which was everywhere. He had obviously been living here a while.

I felt entirely too dirty to be standing in such an immaculate room. I took in my surroundings in awe, my eyes settling on a framed photo of a beaming couple on the mantle. I felt a pang as I wondered whether they were still alive or whether Garrett had taken their lives in exchange for somewhere to stay. Garrett followed my gaze and responded as if he had heard my thoughts.

"They're still alive. I find second homes and vacation homes to provide varied, private and stimulating shelter. I seek out the secluded ones that are rarely used."

"And when they arrive for a visit?" I wondered.

"I'd hear a car heading this way when it was still miles away. I have plenty of time to set things straight and move on. I'm sure most of the people who put me up never have any idea I was staying. I tend to hunt for the blood of those who do not deserve to have it pumping though their veins." I nodded in understanding, relieved that my instincts regarding Garrett hadn't failed me.

"There's a bathroom upstairs," Garrett said, interrupting my thoughts. "Take as long as you need."

o

The bathroom was vast and modern with smooth oversized, neutral tiles and shiny chrome fittings. A shower that could clean several people at once was on the opposite wall to a bath that could do exactly the same. If I had been able to, I might have wept at the prospect of being clean. The decision was almost impossible. Bath or shower?

Then I caught my refection in the full length mirror, tucked in an alcove. I gasped in horror, slowly approaching my reflection with an outstretched hand. I already knew my clothes were tattered, worn and ripped by the elements. However, they were in no way revealing though as my skin was so caked in dirt. Dried animal blood was evident on the residual material. My hair was so matted and knotted it actually stood away from my head in clumps and my face was hidden by dirt smears. Most startling of all were my crimson eyes. I sobbed out a giggle. Weren't vampires supposed to be supernaturally beautiful? Trust me to be the exception that proved the rule. If I had ever got close to a human they were much more likely to suspect they were being eaten by Bigfoot rather than drained by a vampire.

My appearance made the choice for me; shower, then bath.

o

I sat in the bath wondering if I could ever bring myself to be able to get out of the water. I had thoroughly scrubbed myself clean in the shower. The water rolling off me had been practically black and I wondered what on earth Garrett must have thought of me when he came across me in such a state. It had been very generous of him to offer me refuge when I had looked so feral.

_Thank Goodness Alice hadn't seen me; she would have spontaneously combusted_. The errant thought took me by surprise and drove a spear of painful betrayal straight through me. I dipped my head under the bubbles and the water, so that I was completely immersed, immediately feeling better. The water was still my safe haven. My security blanket. I didn't shrug it off for a very long time and when I emerged, I felt immediately vulnerable again.

Wrapping myself in a towel, I made my way into the adjoining bedroom and found a hairbrush on the dresser. I violently tugged it through my hair and by the time it was tangle free, it was almost dry. There was no way I could put back on my destroyed clothes. I opened the closet and was relieved to find it teaming. I felt a little tickle of guilt at the theft I was about to undertake, but I had no other option. My guilt quickly dissipated as I rifled through the clothes. There was nothing practical here at all. Did this woman never set foot outside this house once she was in it?

I settled on long sleeved deep maroon colored dress. It seemed to be the one that would cover me up the most, despite its plunging neck line. At least it was a modest knee length. As I squeezed into it, I wondered about its owner again. I had been verging on malnourished when Victoria had taken me and then starved before she changed me, so I must have been very thin. This woman was obviously thinner and the dress hugged me tightly around my middle and stretched over my bust and hips giving the impression I had curves that weren't there. I cast a glance over the collection of shoes, immediately dismissing them as ridiculous and opting to go barefoot.

I made my way nervously down the stairs, apprehensive about talking to Garrett again. What would we do now? It was mystifying. My simple existence had become suddenly complex and confusing.

Garrett was lounging sideways in a chair, his legs dangling over the arm, engrossed in a book. When he sensed my approach, he gracefully sprang to his feet in a polite, gentlemanly gesture. Then he looked up at me. As he took in my transformed appearance, his eyes darkened perceptibly and his instinctive reaction to me was tangible. My body responded immediately and involuntarily. Desire sparked though me, catching me off guard. It was such a sudden shift in emotion, I felt unbalanced.

"Bella?" Garrett asked in disbelief, closing the gap between us in a few long strides. He reached out to touch my hair, catching a stand between his thumb and forefinger, gently caressing it to the tip. I could tell he was trying to reconcile his image of me before with that of me standing in front of him now. His proximity was too much for me and overloaded my senses. His scent was intoxicating and his closeness was so very welcome. It had been a very long time since I had been touched in such a gentle, caring way and I craved more. I craved contact and intimacy and was overpoweringly relieved that I was no longer alone.

Without thinking, I pressed my lips to his. To me they felt warm and soft. His reaction was immediate, he pulled me close to him, pressing our bodies together and deepening the kiss. Every cell in my body was instantly alight and attuned to him and I felt an acute withdrawal as he gently pulled away.

"We shouldn't be doing this," he told me softly and kindly. The rejection hit me like an avalanche. Was I really that repulsive? I could almost hear Victoria's voice in my ear, reminding me again and again of how abhorrent I was. Horrifically embarrassed, I made to move away, but Garrett tightened his grip. I knew that I could wrench myself free if I wanted to, but I couldn't bring myself to. I had nowhere to go.

"I have never met anyone like you," Garrett explained in a soft voice, "so independently different with such amazing control at such a young age…and so beautiful. But I would be taking advantage of you. When we are newly turned our emotions are volatile and our urges difficult to control. It would be incorrigible of me to let us do something you may very well come to regret."

Our eyes locked and held. His were almost black with desire now and I was craving…something, I needed Garrett in this moment. I could see his internal battle with his conscience. This time it was him who instigated the kiss and it was instantly intense, robbing me all awareness of my surroundings. His hand drifted to the small of my back, this thumb circling there, dialing up the tension trembling within me.

His hands expertly explored my body, every caress driving my need for more. I was hardly aware of him relieving us both of our clothes until I felt the solid muscle of his chest under my fingers. He hissed as my nails slid down his abdomen and I felt his low growl vibrate under my fingers and he gently eased us to the floor.

He covered my body with his. His every touch was like electricity on my skin and he seemed to know exactly what to do to set my body shuddering beneath him, but I could feel him holding back on me, treating me with such care and respect and it was not enough. Part of me was screaming internally that this was not who I truly wanted to be touching me this way and that I was betraying everyone in allowing this to continue. Including Garrett and especially myself. But I couldn't stop him. I needed to feel this and I needed more.

I was desperate and nervous at the same time. I had no idea what I was doing and was sure that my clumsy innocence was obvious to him. Garrett nudged my knees apart and tantalizing hovered above me, giving me the chance to stop him, but I didn't want this to stop. When he met the barrier that was proof of my inexperience I heard his gasp and he somehow stilled himself, rising up onto his outstretched arms to look me in the eye. He tilted his head at me questioningly.

He was going to stop. I could see it in his eyes and part of me agreed with him wholeheartedly, but there was a new side of me now. A side that I had tried to keep contained but had only been able to repress. I wrapped my legs around his hips, guiding him deep inside of me in one awkward pull.

He kissed me as he set a slow, controlled pace. He was still kind and considerate and loving and I couldn't bear it. It felt pleasurable but it wasn't what I wanted or needed. I let my lips wander down his throat, not sure what I'd been thinking, but knowing that something was missing. Without considering what I was about to do, I surprised both him and myself, by sinking my teeth into his skin, just below his collarbone. He reared up in reaction, letting out a guttural roar and lifting my legs so high, my hips were suspending in mid-air. He stabilized my pelvis with his strong grip and set a punishing rhythm as he thrust into me again and again. Finally, I was taken where I needed. Waves of pleasure rolled over me, sweeping away all my doubts and fears and melting my memories away until there was nothing in the world but Garrett and me. I had no idea how long I was lost to him. He collapsed onto me and although it was impossible for us to be physically exhausted, we were emotionally spent.

After several minutes, Garrett slowly lifted himself off me and carried me gently to the sofa where he lay down beside me. He used his finger to sweep a wisp of my hair from my face and I was reminded of how this started and had a sudden desire to start it again.

"That was a very dangerous thing you did, Bella," Garrett admonished me without conviction. "I could have reacted very differently to your bite and even as it was, I barely had any control."

"Sorry," I offered, although I didn't mean it.

"Don't be, it is all my fault," he said in a low voice, "I behaved abominably and have stolen something from you that I can never give back."

"You didn't steal anything, I gave it to you and I knew what I was doing," I lied. I had no idea what I was doing.

He smiled and kissed me lightly, "You were irresistible and have never experienced anything like that in all my years. I wish I was the one who was sorry, but I can't bring myself to be."

o

I was on the veranda absorbing the panoramic view. I rested against the railing leaning forward. The past few days with Garrett had been amazing, closer to happy than I ever imagined I would feel and definitely closer than I deserved, but I still felt lost. I had no place here, despite Garrett's kindness and attention. Everything was fine when I immersed myself in the present, but when my mind was drawn to the past or future, everything felt wrong. I knew I should leave, but hadn't been able to find the courage to.

Garrett had adjusted some of the husband's clothes to fit me, so I was comfortably dressed at least. I smiled in memory of Garrett sewing. It was completely surreal to watch.

"What?" Garrett had demanded when he caught me staring at him in disbelief. "I like clothes that fit, and they're not always easily available."

"It just seems impossible, watching your giant hands manipulating that tiny needle," I had supplied.

"Giant hands! I'll have you know that my hands are incredibly dexterous."

"I'm well aware of all the things your hands are capable of."

"Some of the things that they are capable of," he had smirked, "but definitely not all. Not yet at least."

"Is that a promise?" I'd goaded innocently and he answered by throwing the shirt he was adjusting to one side and stalking after me with a playful growl.

I was pulled back to the present by the soft whoosh of the sliding door behind me. I glanced over my shoulder as I heard Garrett step through. He was wearing only jeans, unaffected by the cold despite his lack of clothing. He looked so handsome and I felt a curling low in my stomach, reminding me of my hunger for him which had yet to diminish. I ignored it though, turning my attention back to the mountain view. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me back into him.

"We need to talk," he whispered and my stomach dropped in dread. Was he about to take the decision out of my hands? Was it time for us to part ways? I couldn't face him, fearing what he was about to say.

"Bella, it would be an honor and a privilege to travel with you, if you'd be willing," he spoke in a slow, serious voice, and let the suggestion hang in the air, giving me time to process it.

I turned slowly to face him. "Travel with you?" I echoed.

"If you would be agreeable," he confirmed.

It was so incredibly tempting, but there were so many reasons that it was a bad idea. Reading my hesitation, Garrett grabbed my hand and pulled me to sit on the wooden outdoor furniture. He looked at me speculatively and it was clear he had anticipated my resistance to the idea and intended to circumvent it. It was a little scary how well he already knew me.

"I have never had any desire to change anyone. That is mainly because I shirk responsibility but also partly because I remember exactly now it felt to be new to this life and it seemed cruel to consider putting another being through it. One thing I am sure of is that no one should have to go through it on their own. There are many things about this life that are hard slow lessons learnt alone. I found that out and I hate the idea of you being in some of the positions I found myself in when I was newly turned. It would be my pleasure to guide you, if you'll let me."

"And what would you get out of it?" I asked with a hint of sarcasm, unable to fathom why he seemed to want this so sincerely.

"Your company," was his immediate response. I squirmed uncomfortably, finding it difficult to accept his answer, no matter how honestly it was delivered. I cast my eyes to the ground.

"Garrett…I can't be in any sort of relationship. My heart was broken, long before I was even changed. It would be so wrong for me to commit to anything with you," I choked out, not wanting to discuss this, but needing Garrett to understand.

The silence was long and finally I looked up at him, wanting to guess what he was thinking. It seemed that this was an obstacle he had not been anticipating and it took him time to gather his thoughts.

"Bella, I'm not asking you to commit to forever. There is only one bond that is everlastingly formed among our kind. It is widely known as the mating bond and it is quite rare. Some of us exist for centuries without finding a mate, but that doesn't mean we have to be alone all of that time. I have travelled with…a fair few…companions over the years and I've yet to develop such a bond. I think that my soul is simply too free spirited to attach itself to someone so permanently. We will have no such control over whether or not it develops, but having compared the history of our hearts it seems very unlikely." He paused, to let me digest the implications of his speech and then added softly. "Although, I must say that you are the first woman I've met to make the prospect of such a bond even remotely tempting. I cannot imagine any amount of time with you will be too long. What I am proposing though, is not eternity… just for as long as our alliance is mutually convenient and when that is no longer the case we will part as friends."

"I cannot be around you while you hunt humans. The temptation would be too much and my conscience would strongly object." This time Garrett smiled wide. This was an argument he had anticipated.

"I was thinking that if a Newborn can manage without human blood, how hard can it be? I'm sure I can manage abstinence, temporarily, for as long as we travel together." I was floored by this. He would change his diet? For me? We had discussed the morals of vampire feeding patterns at length. Garrett felt no remorse for the victims he chose and was comfortable being judge and executioner. I had argued that both addicts and criminals could be rehabilitated and that in the short time he observed his victims, he had no idea what had led them down that path or if they were capable of earning redemption. He had dismissed my arguments, saying that the human life span was so brief anyway, shaving off a few years of life off those who wasted it was inconsequential. It was miraculous that he would even consider feeding from animals. He had found the concept highly distasteful.

For the first time I began to seriously consider the notion of being with Garrett for an extended period of time.

Then I remembered one of the mantras Victoria had kept up as I changed.

"It's dangerous to be with me, Garrett. The vampire who changed me promised to make my death permanent at the first sign that I was no longer alone."

Garrett's eyes instantly darkened to pitch black and he vibrated with anger.

"The one who changed you did so to punish you and left you alone deliberately? You know this as a certainty?" he asked, his voice dangerously quiet. I nodded.

"Then the decision is made for you," his tone had a steel to it I had not heard before, nor thought his easy-going nature was capable of. "I will not let you travel alone until I am confident you can fight adequately enough to ensure that he would regret trying to hurt you in any further way." I didn't correct Garrett's assumption that it was a male vampire that changed me. I didn't want to dwell on the circumstances surrounding my change any longer. Those thoughts took me to such a dark place, I feared I might lose myself completely. I could sense Garrett's curiosity and I'm sure he could sense my reluctance as well. He didn't push for an explanation and I was grateful. I didn't want to lie to him, but the truth was too condemning to rehash.

xXx

**Jasper**

Alice practically flew into the room.

"She's not alone. I had another vision and someone is with her."

"Someone we know?"

"No one I recognize. But their relationship will be intimate, or maybe even already has been."

I felt a growl rise in my chest. Not jealousy but concern. For the first time I felt truly like a protective older brother. Rosalie had never given me cause to feel that way, but Bella was new and alone. If she had been taken advantage of, then I would make sure that this stranger would regret it.

* * *

><p>Thanks for reading. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the way things are going.<p> 


	6. Another Stage

**You know who owns Twilight; it's not me.**

I'm very sorry I have made you all wait so long for an update. .

I had been planning to continue this story beyond the short story I originally wrote it as. Unfortunately, due to sad and unforeseen circumstances, I am unable to commit to this right now. This chapter is the original ending that completes it as a short story. There is a possibility I will come back to Slips Away later and continue it, but not just yet. Thank you so much for your patience and understanding.

My wonderful betas are TheaJ1 & my sister, both of whom are amazing.

**6: Another Stage**

**Bella**

I was deep within the volcanic belts of the Kamchatka Peninsula near Siberia. I could hear the fast flow of water nearby and the heartbeats of a pair of large brown bears somewhere in the distance. A cold arctic wind was whistling around me and while the temperature was inconsequential to me, the noise was an unwelcome distraction. I knew I was being hunted and every one of my senses prickled in anticipation of an imminent attack.

When the assault came, it was swift and expertly delivered, giving me only a fraction of a second to react. But it was enough. The crash of our bodies must've echoed for miles around, startling a large flock of birds into flight. I was ready though. With a slight shift in my weight, I sent us tumbling along my pre-planned trajectory. My assailant fought hard, but I maintained the advantage, eventually managing to pin and hold him beneath me. He ultimately stilled beneath me, offering me a triumphant grin.

"Had I known losing to you would feel this good, I would've let you win long ago," he teased.

"Your competitive nature would never have allowed it," I reminded him.

I stared into his kind eyes, wondering how I had been so lucky that he was the first vampire that had crossed my path after my change.

"What are you thinking?" he asked me. I did my best to quash the memory of Edward that his question conjured and was partially successful. I had managed to avoid telling Garrett about Edward and the Cullens, and intended to keep it that way, to banish them firmly to my past, where they belonged. I had reconciled myself to a future without them. Garrett tilted his head, still awaiting my reply.

"I was thinking that it's very unfair that your eyes are already amber, whereas mine still glow red," I told him. He smiled wider still and I bent my head to kiss him, finding the urge irresistible.

I had found a place that I fit. In Garrett's arms and in this isolated, diverse and abundant corner of the world that had become my home. I was no longer lost anymore. And no matter how my future unfolded, there was one thing I was very confident of. That the next time I crossed paths with Victoria, she would be the one to go up in flames and I would be the one who walked away.

**Jasper**

Alice had trawled through her visions and the results were always the same. Going after Bella at the moment would be a mistake. We either wouldn't find her…or she would be much less than receptive to us if we did.

It had been a hard decision to leave her alone, but Alice was convinced that the male she was with could be trusted to keep her safe. There was also the added complication of Edward. He was still completely off grid. No decisions made by him meant no visions to guide us to find him. Alice was confident he was still alive, as she had always watched for him so closely that she would've seen the results of any circumstance that would have led to his demise. We were all acutely aware that if he were to get any inkling of what Bella had been through because of his decision to insist we all leave her, the emotional fall out would be astronomical. It would be so unfair for Bella to get caught up in that, especially after what she had already endured.

The most prudent course of action was to do nothing. To leave Bella in the company of this vampire who obviously cared for her. To wait for Edward to resurface and to draw him back into the family and help him come to terms with recent history and then decide how to proceed from there.

Inaction was wisest, yet most difficult and frustrating plan, but we had no other choice.

It was strange. I had always considered myself an outsider in the family, an in-law, only welcome because of my association with Alice. It was only now that I realized how much I had enjoyed being a part of their lives. It was not the same anymore and I missed what was lost. Those of us that remained were making the most of the remnants of the family and holding on to the hope that we could be reunited with both Edward and Bella eventually. Maybe there was a chance that one day they could recapture the future that had slipped away from them. However unlikely it seemed right now, one thing we were not short of was time, or hope.

**The end, for now.**

Thank you to all of you who have supported this story by reading and especially by reviewing. I appreciate every single one of you more than you could know. You all inspire me to try and be better at this.


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